This is a particularly raunchy episode of Goosebuds, friends. Not sure why; maybe we're just all really hot and bothered by the idea of canned monsters. In this episode Chad, Dom, and Paul talk public event notification systems, cock socks (and cock mummies), daggerin' & dancin', Captain Stabbin', and the weird fetishes of Monster Blood. That's right; we discuss Chapter Three in 'The Chillogy' of goopy globs of giantism. Hope you enjoy.

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Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

This episode is ready to rip out of the mint-sealed box, Goosebuddies! In this Adventure! episode Dom leads Paul and Chad through the Give Yourself Goosebumps book: Toy Terror. Can the boys survive this toy factory and help these plastic people find independence? They also discuss The World Tree of Ska, Second Skin the horror documentary Second Skin, The Monty Hall "Problem", and cool Mac tattoos.

Set down the book, Goosebuddies because this time we're turning on the boob tube. Dom, Paul, and Chad watch two "classic" episodes of the Goosebumps TV series. First, "Don't Wake Mummy", a pretty mundane tale of a scaredy boy and his sister whose archaeologist mother commits mail fraud and brings a real ancient pharaoh into their basement. And worst of all; he may become a real, living murderer! As opposed to a zombie one.

Up next is the show-exclusive "Click" which so clearly inspired the Adam Sandler emotional comedy. Watch as a boring kid buys a magic remote and only uses it to get the newspaper. Also the boys discover a secondary background TV show that is way more interesting than the episode we're watching.

We hope you enjoy our occasional dips into the silver screen of spooks!

You can support the show and get bonus episodes at patreon.com/goosebuds

You can reach us at goosebuds@gmail.com and on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Theme music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

DING DONG Goosebuddies! Chad, Dom, and Paul read The Cuckoo Clock of Doom; a time traveling horror story where the greatest fear is having your diaper changed by your mother. In this story a child reverses the bird on an antique wooden clock and is forced to relive his childhood in reverse, doing nothing to change his fate. Chad thinks this is the worst book yet while Paul loved it; so this is a real divider.

The boys also talk about George Romero's Monkey Shines, wheelchairs you blow into, a strange alternative satire called 'SFW', that dude who got his weiner cut off in the 90s, jackin 'em up, Jarhead movie sequels, and again cover the perfect way to get away with murder using time travel.

Your wish is granted Goosebuddies- it's a new Adventure! episode! Chad's your DM as he reads Dom & Paul a Give Yourself Goosebumps book: The Scream of the Evil Genie. But watch out because this carbonated conjurer is taking every wish very subjectively. And the kids are real dumb.

The boys also talk about which Muppet Baby was murdered, Unsolved Mysteries, and invent a new game based around a nationwide manhunt. Bonus: Enjoy the sound of Chad's bird Samson chirping all the way on the other side of his house!

You can support the show, get access to bonus episodes, and vote on which books we read on patreon.com/goosebuds

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Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Original Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Happy holidays, Goosebuddies! It's a new year! Hopefully we're all still alive and the robots haven't taken us yet! Speaking of being alive... the boys have dug into a Goosebumps: Most Wanted tale about holiday undead (that really don't do much other than guilt trip ya). Preceded by an opening prologue that is the darkest thing RL has ever written, we read the tale of Kate Welles who just wants the lead in a play that would never be allowed on stage, let alone in high school. And Chad falls on his sword arguing that the production is a stealth Halloween story. There's sorta some playing around with the idea of "Christmas spirits" and a missed opportunity to play off A Christmas Carol, but otherwise this is a holiday book we guess.

Also the boys talk weird church experiences, eating communion bread for fun, and discovering the dark joy of Victorian Christmas cards. Enjoy the episode. Merry Slinksmas!

You can support the show and get access to bonus episodes on patreon.com/goosebuds

Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Original music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Note: Apologies for the weird audio on Chad, buddies. He had to record this in his parents' basement while visiting in Indiana and as we all know audio just sounds different in the midwest.

Adventure abound! Paul takes Dom and Chad through a particularly gruesome Give Yourself Goosebumps book-- Welcome to the Wax Museum! Gasp in glee as the story leads you along on a literal treadmill! Cheer as children murder adults in boiling wax! And learn about RL's potentially coolest monster character... that we never actually meet.

The boys also discuss how to spice up professional sports, the lost magic of the XFL, crow crime scene investigations, exciting ways to fight for net neutrality, slime fetish videos, and invent a new cryptocurrency!

Thanks for listening! You can support the show and get access to bonus episodes and content at patreon.com/goosebuds

Follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Original music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

A new Goosebuds is upon you. Dom, Paul, and Chad enter Terror Tower for a tale of torture devices, royal child murder, and surprisingly... time travel! It's actually mostly about time travel! That dude on the cover is barely a factor. Huh. Maybe time and the ever-approaching finality of death is the most terrifying thing of all.

The boys also discuss passive aggressive parking tickets, a new yet familiar justice system, how the boys would like to die, and a marketing strategy way for Crackle Barrel. Carpe Noctis.

Support the show and get access to bonus content and episodes on patreon.com/goosebuds

You can follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Talk about the show at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Original Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Happy Halloween, Goosebuddies! Chad, Dom, and Paul bring back the Ghoulastic Book Club format (yes, that's totally a thing we've done that one time) and tackle a particularly spooky R.L. Stine book: Fear Street Cheerleaders! Will this more adult kids book have raised stakes? Will the boys be able to relate to a tale about teenage girls? Will Chad overdose tonight on Twizzler Bits?

Besides discussing this tale of creepy cheerleaders, the boys talk defending Tom Hanks and The Burbs, Boxer's Omen, hobo steak, and why Lifesavers candy is called that.

Happy Halloween, friends!

You can support the show and gain access to bonus episodes at patreon.com/goosebuds

Follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Chat about the show at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Edited by Kevin Cole (@RealKevinCole)

Theme Musice by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

In this episode the Goosebuds Boys discuss what's beneath the Planet of the Apes, movies that are "Halloween Enough", and Dank Bombs. They also read through another Give Yourself Goosebumps book. In this Adventure! episode, Dom (and a glass of wine) serves as your Book DM taking Paul, Chad, and yourself through The Deadly Experiments of Dr. Eeek! In this narrative laboratory maze, every ending sucks. You guys recommended this book and we now know how much you hate us.

Join the boys on this tale of adolescence, boys, dogs, and dog boys. RL presents his creepiest tale yet: hair growing in places it shouldn't! Can't you just feel the shivers down your furry back? Besides disecting this insane gotcha tale, the boys discuss: Kevin James' secret dead TV wife, the site Secret Snopes, the real reason furries are into the festish, and Dom's short story of grocery store diapers.

Thanks for listening! If you want to support the show and unlock bonus content you can go to patreon.com/goosebuds

Follow us on Twitter: @GoosebudsPod

Discuss the show at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Edited by Kevin Cole

Theme music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Synchronize your watches, Goosebuddies 'cuz it's time for another Adventure! episode and we're traveling to the future/past with Chad as Book Dungeon Master. Can Paul and Dom track down their missing brother (though we wouldn't say we're actually missing him) across the centuries? Also listen in horror as the boys come up with a new holiday creepypasta legend and theorize how to use time travel to turn your family members into indentured servants.

You can support the show and get access to bonus episodes at patreon.com/goosebuds

Follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Discuss the episode over at reddit.com/r/Goosebuds

Theme Music by Seth Earnest at sethearnest.net

BAM! POW! ADAM WEST! Goosebuds takes a turn to the comic books to cover Attack of the Mutant. Join Dom, Paul, and Chad as they take on this comic book "horror" story where a little chub boy realizes realizes the comics he loves are now about him! He then visits what seems to be the infamous Masked Mutant's evil lair right off the New Jersey Turnpike.

The boys also discuss RL's potential love of comic books, Gumby, old men made out of clay, eating a child's lunch to gain their mother's power, and knowing that anyone hitting on you is secretly a shapeshifter.

You can support Goosebuds and unlock bonus episodes and content on patreon.com/goosebuds.

Follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Theme music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

It's Adventure Time, Goosebuddies! Paul, Dom, and Chad are joined by returning friend Nika Harper for our first ever Guest DM! Nika leads the boys through a fever dream of a story: a circus that seems to make its income off stealing kids through a time share-esque pyramid scheme. Will the boys be able to navigate this insane tale? Will they pick the right survival items? Will Nika crack under the pressure of so many clown voices she has to do? The gang also discusses Steam legacy accounts, vape coupons, and what determines which playthings have souls in Toy Story.

Thanks for listening! You can support the show and gain access to bonus content and episodes at patreon.com/goosebuds

You can talk about the show with other fans at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

And follow us on Twitter: @GoosebudsPod

Follow Nika @NikaHarper and patreon.com/nikaharper

Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Settle down for a tragic tale, Goosebuddies. This is a sad tale of a poor homeless janitor that loses him home because of a lame, very patient ghost boy. Chad, Paul, and Dom discuss the book and TV episode "Phantom of the Auditorium", discuss glee club, Overwatch, what to name your child, Billy Zane, and cheap school lunches.

Be sure to discuss the book over at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

And support the show and gain access to bonus content at patreon.com/goosebuds

Music by Seth Earnest. sethearnest.net

It's another Adventure! episode with Dom DM'ing the book for little Paul and Chad. You may ask, "What's so scary about purple peanut butter? Besides it meaning you're probably eating a poor kid school lunch?" The answer is "so many things". This episode includes being good boys, failing greeting card companies, the corporate espionage plot of The Flintstones "family" movie, weird-colored ketchups including irritated janitors, shrinking down and murdering people, and being Magneto.

This episode was brought to you by support from our Patreon. You can go to patreon.com/goosebuds to get access to special bonus content and episodes as well as vote on upcoming episodes.

Follow us on twitter @GoosebudsPod

Talk at our subreddit reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Wrap yourself up in this wonderful and weird episode where Dom, Chad, and Paul return to Egypt with Gabe and his infinitely cooler cousin Sari to dig up mummies yet again, despite all the Pharaoh PTSD they should still have from the first book. The boys also talk c-list celebrity crushes, what to be buried with in a tomb, how immortals struggle in the hard years, and gas leak revelations.

Thank you so much to our patreon supporters! You can pledge and gain access to exclusive content at patreon.com/goosebuds

And check out our subreddit for discussion at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Follow us on Twitter: @GoosebudsPod

Theme Music by Seth Ernest (sethernest.net)

It's another Adventure! for the Goosebuds as Paul takes the DM reins and guides Dom and Chad through a story of a haunted comic book shop, spookier and more off-putting than any 90s local comic shop could ever dream. The boys encounter a spinning comic rack, taking peeks at lady magazines, rip off X-Men, and a haunted maze that next to nothing to do with graphic novels. Will the boys survive? Especially when a Goosebumps legend shows up as a cameo?

Thanks so much for listening! Make sure you check out our subreddit at /r/goosebuds, our Twitter @GoosebudsPod, and you can support the show and get exclusive bonus content and episodes at patreon.com/goosebuds.

Theme Music and Transitions by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Slide on your flip flops, Goosebuddies: we're going to Ghost Beach! Dom, Paul, and Chad are joined by the charming Matt Scottoline from the band Hurry (hurrymusic.com) to cover Ghost Beach, an actually scary book, though it sure is a lot of he-said-she-said about who's a ghost. There's so much finger pointing over who's a spectre or not, maybe we're all ghosts, man! Who can say? We can. The boys also talk about what ghosts eat, Dice with Ellen, Rosie O'Donnell's missing bones, and how Paul definitely read the book.

Huge thanks and love to our Patreon supporters. This show isn't possible without you. You can add your support and get exclusive bonus content at patreon.com/goosebuds

And thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode. You can get your free 30-day trial at audible.com/goosebuds. Let us know if you try it out!

Worms are pretty disgusting. They crawl all over, they live in the mud, and you can cut them up without seemingly much harm. But they're not really scary. This is the main problem with the book of Go Eat Worms! The other issue is that a sociopath is the main character. Join Paul, Dom, and Chad on a discussion of worms, science fairs, Winnie the Pooh, making 2's, and what shadows may do to your no-no areas. It's a clusterfeck of an episode, Goosebuddies, but it's a good one. Just watch your sandwiches and soups; there may be a worm in there!

Huge thanks to our Patreon supporters! You can join in and get exclusive content by going to patreon.com/goosebuds

and discuss the episodes on our subreddit at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

It's a new year, Goosebuddies! Time to rethink the choices you made in the past. Perhaps you were a bratty kid? Or you were a simple-minded farmer who found a necronomicon and raised a bunch of straw boys? Either way it's time for a new start. And what better way to do that with a new episode?

The boys are joined by the lovely Nika Harper to discuss why this is one of her favorite Goosebumps books, what exactly is the rule with simpletons be allowed to have children, and how easily a scarecrow is defeated in a non-fall season. Also deep contemplation on each Muppet's political affiliations. Enjoy!

This episode is brought to you by our wonderful supporters on Patreon. You can pledge support and get access to bonus content including side podcasts at patreon.com/goosebuds.

OUR PATREON: patreon.com/goosebuds

In a hilarious mixup, the boys accidentally cover both Deep Trouble and its sequel book and TV show. Listen in horror as you hear about the first book to have actual action and suspense! Ponder if you would smooch a mermaid girl or at least eat her eggs? And squeal with delight as you see dreaded half-men/half-fish dudes who try and open a carnival? I guess that's their plan?

All this and more. Plus the announcement of our new Patreon to help support the show and release even more! We appreciate all of you so much, whether you pledge or not. But we love the pledges a bit tiny more.

Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Cover Art by Mollie Helms (molliehelmsart.com)

Check out our subreddit at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Happy 25th Episode, Goosebuddies! To commemorate the milestone, we've collected some of our favorite moments from the podcast (many suggested by you). They barely make sense, but we love them. Of course we love all our other joke children as well, but these are the ones we're sending to college. Hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane. Thanks to all our guests for being a part of this and for YOU for listening. Your support means a ton and we wouldn't have a reason to read bad children's books without you. Here's to the next 25.

EPISODE GUIDE

02:11 - Ep 2 - Stay Out Of The Basement

04:03 - Ep 3 - Monster Blood

05:01 - Ep 4 - Say Cheese and Die

09:51 - Ep 5 - The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb

15:05 - Ep 6 - Let's Get Invisible!

19:28 - Ep 7 - Night of the Living Dummy (w/ Aaron Waltke)

27:25 - Ep 9 - Welcome to Camp Nightmare

35:16 - Ep 10 - Adventure! - Escape From The Carnival of Horrors

39:48 - Ep 14 - The Haunted Mask (w/ Kyle McVey)

41:41 - Ep 15 - Adventure! Secret Agent Grandma

49:14 - Ep 16 - Be Careful What You Wish For

55:56 - Ep 17 - GBC - Animorphs (w/ Holly Conrad)

58:32 - Ep 18 - Piano Lessons Can Be Murder

01:08:23 - Ep 19 - The Werewolf of Fever Swamp

01:10:52 - Ep 21 - One Day At Horrorland (w/ Dodger)

01:17:10 - Ep 5's sign off

Theme and Transition Music by Seth Earnest (sethearnest.net)

Special Thanks to Steve Failows

Follow us on Twitter @GoosebudsPod

Join the discussion on Reddit at reddit.com/r/goosebuds

Hope you're hungry, Goosebuddies, because we're eating some Monster Blood. Don't worry, it has a lemony taste. In our first sequel book, Monster Blood comes back again and again to make you get real big. The boys are joined by rapper and videogame reviewer Yungtown (youtube.com/user/yungtown) to talk about hamsters, the proper applications of Monster Blood, government monitoring programs, and how one could use this stuff to have a successful NBA career.

Thanks for listening! You can reach us at Twitter (@GoosebudsPod) email (goosebuds@gmail.com) or our subreddit (reddit.com/r/goosebuds). 

There are like hundreds of bees in this episode. Can you imagine if there were more than that? We're getting the shivers just thinking about it. The boys dive into this tale of nerds, body swapping machines, and ethical issues concerning being teleported into someone else's head and handling their junk.

(Apologies for audio crackle. We did our best to make this episode as pleasant to listen to as possible)

Theme music by Seth Ernest (sethernest.net)